A Letter to My Sons About Porn

Occasionally I will write letters to give to my young sons some day. This is one about pornography. I’ve decided to share it because I know there are a lot of guys who desperately need to hear it but don’t have a father who will say it.

My Precious Sons,

You are men.

You are noble and valiant creatures. Made to rule and subdue the earth with tender and calloused hands. Made to protect the weak and oppose injustice. Made to laugh, to wrestle, to firmly hug another. Made for glory. Made for honor.

But your manhood is twisted. You know it. You can feel it. Nobility now insecurity, courage now fear, the faint echoes of glory now loud cries of shame.

And experience is reaffirming what you fear is true. Women reject you. Friends forsake you. Father and mother fail you. You are not admired, you are not esteemed, you are not affirmed. No, this ruthless fallen world only mocks your manhood and magnifies your failures.

You are men. But alas, you are broken, battered, belittled men.

I know where you want to run. I know where you want hide. I hid there too in my youth.

Porn.

Oh how alluring it is to ruined men. A world where there are no demands, and there are no consequences. A world where you are adored and wanted, needed and respected. A world where perversion is standard and carnality is normal. A world that gives men what they were meant to have without asking men to be what they were meant to be. It restores what was lost in Eden but only by cheapening Eden, by creating a realm where perverted manhood is glorified. Where for a moment, a brief, brief, moment, you can again be naked and unashamed.

Then you wake up.

The fantasy has made reality scarier. You’ve been tricked. It promised to heal your wounded manhood, but it has inflicted fresh wounds. It promised to lift you from your shame, but your shame is only deepened. It promised to fill you, but it has stolen from you. It promised to affirm you, but now it condemns you.

Where will you go, oh flawed and broken men? Where will you turn for relief from the shame?

Porn will have you back. It is always there for you with arms of deception spread wide. And you’ll want to return. You will want to be tricked again. You know it’s poison, but the poison is sweet.

And so the cycle of ruin carries on. Your false lover leaving you worthless and then bidding you return again for comfort. And on and on it goes until what is left is no man, but an animal.

Porn is a desolate wasteland where manhood goes to die.

Please, my sons, please listen to me. There is another way. There is a place where men become men, found where manhood was originally conceived

Return to God, your Creator.

Let His grace cleanse you, let His touch confirm you, let His love embolden you. Let His promises combat your shame. Let His faithfulness destroy your disgrace.

He is waiting for you. To undo your ruin, to restore your dignity, to bless you and commission you, to whisper to your weak and fearful soul, “You are the man.”

As a father to his sons, as a broken beggar to broken beggars, as a man to men, I plead with you: Do not listen to the lies of pornography. Listen instead to your father imploring you to listen to your Father.

You are men. Fulfill your destiny.